LOrdSteiN ~*~

Song for "MI"

2006-02-22T11:43:00.000+03:00

This song is specially dedicated to someone whom i am indebted so much...
the lessons learned,
the helping hand,
the generosity of the heart...
and most of all the memories that i will take with me forever
as i walk on my journey past through the metamorphosis of my being....
Thank you "mi" for believing that i can be the "Man" best to "BE".
For showing me different perspectives when i get stuck on my absolutes.
For making me realize that Life and the meaning of things is not stagnant on my own point of view rather it is more wonderful when shared and explored with another soul.
"LG Heindell" for the most of it -- the ultimate fulfillment of the ideal Harold.
Gracias contodo mi corazon. Gracias "deseo de mi corazón".

Goodbye My Lover
by James Blunt

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd been the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I have to live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

***

Objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they Are

2005-06-23T14:24:00.000+03:00

i'd been really very busy for the preparation of this celebration ;)

we held the Creative Team Workshop in my place in Adliya and it was participated by our FB Bro. Al for the development of the TI-Bahrain NewsMedia circulation, Bro. Butch for caricatures and our Master Cutter, Bro. John for Quality Control and we even need to wake him up @ daybreak to drive for us when we conclude the night... and i concentrated on the design and printing of the Certificates to be distributed.... we've been working every night from 6PM to 3-4AM and its quite really an energy draning task but worth enriching...

on top of that, i have Bro. John B's TC banner and poster on queue which is also a rush work... www.triskelions.net's development of Subdreamer, Geeklog, VBulletin, Security and statistics scripts, PHP scripts and Flash Templates... and there are some other important emails that needs my immediate reply. i temporarily stopped my readings and blogging is something i cant seem to fit into my schedule lately... i can only blog now because we're done on most of the workshop and we will celebrate tonight at the Delmon Hotel in Manama. last night was the culmination of the workshop which was attended by MDT Bro. Amang, GT Bro Carlo, FB Bro Vic with Sis Sheileth and the kids, Brods Butch, Bench, Jeoeff, Mark Anthony, and John, Sigma's Sis Angie, and FB Bro John B to follow up on the work. the sun is already up at 430AM when we brought Bro. Al to Muharraq and i took my Power Nap at around 5am which only lasted for about an hour and a half..

i called my boss this morning to inform him that i'll be late and i need to go to the bank to arrange some issues which had been troubling me so much eversince i started dealing with them...

what troubles me more are the thoughts that linger in my mind. some ideas and emotions i need to put down into writing and some other concerns that needs immediate solutions and/or ways to circumvent limitations...

What's Your Personality Type?

2005-06-13T14:27:00.000+03:00

Trying on the blogthings
i got this result :)

Your #1 Match: ENFJ

The Giver

You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.
Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.
Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.
You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.

You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

Your #2 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're quite the storyteller!

You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Your #3 Match: ENTJ

The Executive

You are a natural leader - with confidence and strength that inspires others.
Driven to succeed, you are always looking for ways to gain, power, knowledge, and expertise.
Sometimes you aren't the most considerate person, especially to those who are a bit slow.
You are not easily intimidated - and you have a commanding, awe-inspiring presence.

You would make a great CEO, entrepreneur, or consultant.

What's Your Personality Type?

Friendster Blogging

2005-06-12T11:42:00.000+03:00

updated my Friendster Blog

***
wonder why it is easier for me to blog at Friendster...
maybe because of its limitations that i cant seem to do anything else to modify things... and Limitation makes a Man. The apeiron or the unlimited makes him unstable and Fall.
or maybe its simplicity and style...
i dont know... its just that i am able to find old friends there and new friends i can really hold on to... and most, getting back to my old true self is a slow process i am determined to accomplish. some things i lost when i got to know her... my hands, my thoughts, my heart, and some other things when she wants to believe that the totality of my being is something out of the way. the proud egotistic jerk -- that's what she made me. i'm not even angry.
now i'm regaining it back... slowly... and i am free.

I Let Her Go

2005-06-06T09:01:00.000+03:00

same blog at Friendster Blogs

“I’d give away my soul
Uphold you once again
And never let those moments end”

I let her go.

It has always been like that. I came in and out of relationships and through the years, there’s only one actuality that persists. I let them go -- never holding on for the sake of the good times, but keeping the memories to haunt – to haunt like specters in the night.
As I reminisce the scenes, I’ve realized that they were not even second rate partners. Superior class and finesse; Beauty, brains, remarkable talents and such characteristics that makes them more than enough for a man of esoteric impulses. They were all special and best in their own ways. They all have their own peculiarities and superlative qualities which I am lucky enough to discover. I found them along the way of my journey just in time they uphold me, to complete me, to inspire me in moments when my becoming is on a very spontaneous course… and I had the pleasure of savoring the experience even if the said ideals are scattered all over.

But why can I hardly hold on? Does my mastered detachment affected the core of my being that I can easily let go of anything, or anybody else who deserves more than being neglected whenever the scent of more fragrant flowers fill the air, or when the excitement of a new challenge agitate the grounds of adventure and existence?
These and such questions pervade as I make my walks. There was even a time I refuse to think of things because it pangs to remember that I should have or would have been if such and such.

And so, she goes… And I wasn’t even man enough to stop her. Of what right have I to even think so? I may have my reservations to diminish the twinge but I’d choose to even cry in the rain. Such pride, the ego tripping jerk wouldn’t even tell nor show any sign of lacrimation.

Do caterpillars die when they turn into butterflies?

2005-05-24T09:52:00.000+03:00

"The day i died was the day you set me Free"

"I have known many wonders–
I have faith–
I can trust even now for what shall come next!"

Visit my Friendster blog

Where have all the flamingoes gone?

2005-05-19T10:01:00.000+03:00

same blog i posted at http://lordstein.blogs.friendster.com/lordstein/

as i look out the window of my transport bus today, i expected to see the usual flamingoes feeding by the shore... but they are not there again just as i was looking for them yesterday.
it is the signal of a new weather here in Bahrain. the shore is dry in its low tide and i normally watch the flamingoes on my way to work but today marks that the weather has really changed to another scorching heat and humid air. my 15 minutes walk to my bus point from home would be a very perspiring one. then i can no longer concentrate to think while walking because of the heat and sticky air.
Changes. these are all the many changes i have to cope with.

my strange awakening at 2 in the early dawn has striken me again. such disturbance in my sleep is becoming too ordinary and getting back my sleep is such an arduous task. while i cant think of anything else to do, i scanned my old picture files. i even tried to be productive by editing some with the new Adobe Photoshop CS2...

somehow it makes me realize that time has really passed me by and the lines on my face are already showing. sign of old age. being forgetful is another thing. i said, "men can become forgetful when they diet on sex". well i've been behaving good lately. i had a lot of oppurtunies to sleep with any woman but i choose not to simply just because i wanted to make a change. as we gain more age, our perspectives in life becomes more mature and different.

i'm looking forward to settle down with someone very special already. things i never even dreamed of doing in the past. Now i am FREE.

FREE

2005-05-17T16:15:00.000+03:00

this is my favorite music and artist for the month...
somehow i can relate to it :)

FREE
-Sarah Brightman

And do you still touch her like you did
Kiss her all over in the way I kissed with you
And when you sleep with her, do you sometimes think of me
Not if you love her the way I see

I had to be free
Had to be free
It's all that I wanted

I wanted to see
Wanted to be
Alone if I needed

I had to be free
Had to be free
From feelings that haunted

I wanted to see
Wanted to be
Free

And then in the evening light, when the bars of freedom fall
I watch the two of you in the shadows on the wall
How in the darkness steal some of the choices from my hand
When I begin to understand

I had to be free
Had to be free
It's all that I wanted

I wanted to see
Wanted to be
Alone if I needed

I had to be free
Had to be free
From feelings that haunted

I wanted to see
Wanted to be
Free

I had to be free
Had to be free
It's all that I wanted

I wanted to see
Wanted to be
Alone if I needed

I had to be free
Had to be free
From feelings that haunted

I wanted to see
Wanted to be
Free

2005-05-17T12:32:00.000+03:00

REASON ENOUGH
Regine Velasquez

I made myself a promise sometime ago
Never again to give my heart away
I fell in love with someone who left me in the end
The price of love was just so high to pay
I thought my life has ended but you came along
And showed me how much brighter things could be
Now you see I've turned my back on that promise that I made
Knowing that your love has set me free

'Cause you are reason enough for me to go on living
You are reason enough for me to smile again
In a world where hearts are broken every now and then
One finds reason enough to love
Like I found reason enough in you to love again

Here I am all caught up in this new found love
Feeling like I've never felt before
Putting my love on the line with you
And taking a chance again
I'm not afraid to love anymore

'Cause you are reason enough for me to go on living
You are reason enough for me to smile again
In a world where hearts are broken every now and then
One finds reason enough to love
Like I found reason enough in you to love again

'Cause you are reason enough for me to go on living
You are reason enough for me to smile again
In a world where hearts are broken every now and then
One finds reason enough to love
Like I found reason enough in you to love again

In a world where hearts are broken every now and then
One finds reason enough to love
Like I've found reason enough in you to love again

--

horoscope

2005-05-10T12:27:00.000+03:00

horoscope
Originally uploaded by LOrdSteiN.

Today's Forecast
Anyone you meet over the next few days will have what it takes to keep you interested, whether it's friendship or romance you're after. Don't try to tie them down in any way, shape or form.

You've been mingling with all kinds of interesting and unusual people lately, and loving every minute of it.You might even say you've been quite the social butterfly. There's at least one more new acquaintance en route, thanks to the astrological setup that will keep that parade of people you'd otherwise never have met going strong. Whether they turn out to be friends or partners is up for grabs, but who cares? Think of this as a social buffet. Treat yourself to just a little taste of everything.

***
i am not much of a horoscope guy but this one caught my attention today as i was browsing Friendster...
Imagine me browsing friends of friends in Friendster, adding and requesting to be added... on top of that, i was able to find old acquaintances and classmates when i was still in grade school... even stumbled on friends of my EXs... whatever came to me is somewhat weird...
i am not normally like this but my inclination to socialize lately is a bit of an enriching experience. Meeting new people can be really fun and helps to broaden horizons...

Shielded Crest EmblemTriskelion International Kingdom of Bahrain

2005-04-12T12:36:00.000+03:00

Shielded Crest EmblemTriskelion International Kingdom of Bahrain
Originally uploaded by LOrdSteiN.

some things i do when i think about you but i choose not to...

2005-04-11T15:00:00.000+03:00

.

Magnus Joannes Paulus II

.

2005-03-28T08:21:00.000+03:00

...still raining...

...

2005-03-25T08:13:00.000+03:00

sher n har

2005-03-17T13:32:00.000+03:00

...and then it rains...

2005-02-22T21:38:00.000+03:00

5 8 2!!

2004-12-26T11:46:00.000+03:00

Little Angel

GuestBook

2004-11-30T10:00:00.000+03:00

I'm developing a new GuestBook :)
@
http://lordstein.tk

2004-11-30T09:56:00.000+03:00

My current desktop @ Home using Talisman

2004-11-30T09:52:00.000+03:00

with Bro. Dale Aguirre @ POLO-OWWA Phil Embassy

Triskelion 36th Anniversary

2004-10-04T16:06:00.000+03:00

Triskelion International -Kingdom of Bahrain

Happy 36th Anniversary!!
Arriba! TauGamma!!

2004-08-15T12:02:00.000+03:00

nakakita ka na ba ng paa ng kapre? eto o

2004-08-12T16:24:00.000+03:00

edited using RealDraw

In Denia1

2004-08-11T21:37:00.000+03:00

“In Denial”. I was trying to deny it but that is very true. My thoughts contains the very technical stuff of PHP and Macromedia Actionscript and design as I try to put up my personal website along with the PHP-nuke page of Lordhouse running from Tim’s server b0x. I have configured the server to run Dan J. Bernstein’s programs namely the qmail MTransfer Agent to replace Sendmail, ucspi-tcp as a replacement to inetd, daemontools as a set of tools for managing daemons and their logs, and djbdns for DNS resolutions replacing BIND. I have also configured the MySQL database to run efficiently and the Apache web server to run virtual hosts. I have installed the Inter7’s vpopmail to run along with courier-imap, qmailadmin and Squirrelmail that took me a long time to troubleshoot because it is not showing up properly and conflicts with the current installation of RedHat9. I am considering a firewall setup with iptables and some other modifications to the Linux kernel. I have registered a number of domains for my personal use and our planned Shell and webhosting services of ShellWorks.org. Tried to develop Pao’s webpage at shellph.com as I tried to tweak and enhance my own blogspot page while editing in Dreamweaver for a page and an album for Heindell.net. Enhanced my lordstein.tk site along with my digging the internet superhighway for scripts, templates, graphics, hacks and programs I can make use of. Google with hacks from O’Reilly has been my friend with Firefox. I have kazaa, limewire, orkut, friendster, myspace, multiply, yahoo, icq, gmail, NFT, and warez forums I cannot disclose here.

Imagine me doing all that while I question the existence of God, the devil, and the soul at the same time. Imagine me trying to find the true meaning of Truth; Thinking about thinking; Re-defining definitions; and establishing Absolutes. I am a fool. I am a fool to even try…

I have been greatly influenced by John Fowles with his works especially “The Magus” and “The Aristos” which served like a bible to me that I carry it everywhere and read parts of it from time to time. I still have Ayn Rand’s virtue of selfishness and Objectivism to recuperate for other purposes I have not yet decided. Epistemology and Hermeneutics for other things I have not yet established. My faith has always been troubled and it was triggered when I read the works of Dan Brown. I have the pre-Socratics running on my head as if I owe them something that I should tell the world about the Arche symbolizing the ultimate stuff of the world. There is more to dig around about them and I need to stop and ponder things over so that I can organize whatever ideas I have in mind. Heraclitus of Change and the Logos as the principle of unity amidst universal change and opposition; Thales of water; Anaximenes of air; Pythagoras of numbers, Parmenides of permanence and Absolute Being; Anaximander of apeiron or the unlimited; Empedocles, Anaxagoras, and Democritus of the atom; Plotinus of The One as the first principle of all… they all have something to say about the world and it seems that they have not said enough. There is more. There is a more absolute reality that we have yet to re-discover.

I am in denial, yes, and I tried to refuse to admit that. All along I was thinking or convincing my self that the song “dry your eyes” was about acceptance. Acceptance, not giving up or letting go. It is forgiveness in a more noble sense. Since being noble induce courage, acceptance is generosity in selfishness. Acceptance is to give oneself a relief for its own. Some people have to let go because it is the best thing to do. Some others reason out that there is nothing else to choose. But I do not believe that there is no other option in any given situation. There is always a choice and it can be even at odds.

Talking to my self.

“Dry your eyes mate. I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up. There's plenty more fish in the sea. Dry your eyes mate. I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts, but you've got to walk away now, It's over…”

Oh, how that song touched my complex heart. How I cannot stop thinking about my deseo and how I failed her. How I failed with my aspirations for Him. Is it really over? Is it really the end? Or cant we stand together and help supporting each other?

I have to admit that Technical stuff and Philosophical brainstorming is not the only thing that moves me. My emotion breaks me and I had been trying to be strong diverting to other things whatever that can impulse me. I breathe and move and have my being… but...... ...

Dry Your Eyes

2004-08-10T08:08:00.000+03:00

Dry Your Eyes

In one single moment your whole life can turn 'round
I stand there for a minute starin' straight into the ground
Lookin' to the left slightly, then lookin' back down
World feels like it's caved in - proper sorry frown
Please let me show you where we could only just be, for us
I can change and I can grow or we could adjust
The wicked thing about us is we always have trust
We can even have an open relationship, if you must
I look at her she stares almost straight back at me
But her eyes glaze over like she's lookin' straight through me
Then her eyes must have closed for what seems an eternity
When they open up she's lookin' down at her feet

Dry your eyes mate
I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up
There's plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you've got to walk away now
It's over

So then I move my hand up from down by my side
It's shakin', my life is crashin' before my eyes
Turn the palm of my hand up to face the skies
Touch the bottom of her chin and let out a sigh
'Cause I can't imagine my life without you and me
There's things I can't imagine doin', things I can't imagine seein'
It weren't supposed to be easy, surely
Please, please, I beg you please
She brings her hands up towards where my hands rested
She wraps her fingers round mine with the softness she's blessed with
She peels away my fingers, looks at me and then gestures
By pushin' my hand away to my chest, from hers

Dry your eyes mate
I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up
There's plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you've got to walk away now
It's over

And I'm just standin' there, I can't say a word
'Cause everythin's just gone
I've got nothin'
Absolutely nothin'

Tryin' to pull her close out of bare desperation
Put my arms around her tryin' to change what she's sayin'
Pull my head level with hers so she might engage in
Look into her eyes to make her listen again
I'm not gonna fuckin', just fuckin' leave it all now
'Cause you said it'd be forever and that was your vow
And you're gonna let our things simply crash and fall down
You're well out of order now, this is well out of town
She pulls away, my arms are tightly clamped round her waist
Gently pushes me back and she looks at me straight
Turns around so she's now got her back to my face
Takes one step forward, looks back, and then walks away

Dry your eyes mate
I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up
There's plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you've got to walk away now
It's over

I know in the past I've found it hard to say
Tellin' you things, but not tellin' straight
But the more I pull on your hand and say
The more you pull away

Dry your eyes mate
I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up
There's plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you've got to walk away now.

(The Streets)
http://69.9.37.162/dry-your-eyes-becks.mp3 <--this is the parody
http://web.linuxsys.tk/~lordstein/mp3/The_Streets-Dry_Your_Eyes.mp3 <--if you want to hear the song

This is becoming another habit as i get bored waiting for my transport service for work. i get to listen to KrazyKevin of Radio Bahrain everyday with Dominik's recipe on Tuesdays and JoLincoln's fantastic voice on Thursdays...
It is a quiet day today. i got up with my usual routine and here i am at work blogging. i had been trying to put my emotions into written words but it has been my problem that i couldn't even write down whatever is really running on my head... technical stuff and philosophical musings, i got them mixed up in my head and its driving me crazy... i never finish anything :(

Indian House Crow

2004-07-13T11:36:00.000+03:00

Indian House Crow

How nice it feels to have a good bath. The pleasure of having the precious desalinated water flowing from the shower is a luxury that i treat myself whenever i get home. A sticky humid air in the hot summer is what you get outside and you end up in dripping perspiration if ever you dare walk in the streets.
I got home this afternoon from work and i immediately turned on the air-conditioner because i was feeling so sticky from the heat then i immediately dropped myself on the bed without even changing my clothes. I got up after around 2 hours of sleep then prepared myself to go out to get a haircut. I'd been planning this one for days but the heat just wouldn't let me out. So i fixed myself to go out and get a taxi. I was hearing the sound of Indian House Crows so i took a moment to follow them as if they were being disturbed from their resting place. I am very familiar of these birds because i see them everyday on my way to work around the old king's palace in Adliya. This is the first time I'm seeing a flight of crows in the night so my curiosity got me walking. There were like hundreds of them and someone seems to be shooting at them wherever they stop. I remember reading from the GDN about the way the locals wanted to get rid of these creatures. They say these birds have become a burden and should be eliminated because they are rapidly growing in numbers, preying on other minor birds, messing up the garbage and sometimes can even get inside your house if you have an open window and steal whatever jewelry or important belongings it can take. They have become the bad-birds and i still marvel at them. I decided of just walking to the salon instead of getting a taxi and so my walking goes.... I had the chance to think.

Those crows were like the fellows who have migrated from India for a better life here.

This is just the weather i hated most in Bahrain.

(unfinished post)

Indian House Crows

check out this article--> "mink of the air" to invade

Stilt Sandpiper

2004-07-12T13:28:00.000+03:00

e-postcard from Fairy

Received an e-postcard from Feryal today...
maybe she thought i'm really hooked on this ornithology stuff when i asked her to scan the book yesterday so she gave me a very nice e-postcard of a Stilt Sandpiper....
this kind is one of the most common birds i see around Sitra bridge on my way home from work...

i told her i'm going to copy the file because its really very nice but she said it cant be downloaded and can only access it through gulfoasis.com so i made my way to get it...

Now behold!

Sooty Falcon

2004-07-11T14:44:00.000+03:00

Sooty Falcon (Falco concolor). The most endangered of Hawar's Breeding Species.

- taken from The Breeding Birds of Hawar by Howard King

~*~
Finally had the time to scan a page from the book (courtesy of Feryal, my Sexy Iranian IT partner here) hehe..
well
i had some trouble uploading it thru HELLO...
and it turned out to be posted twice with different captions so i had to re-edit it and added a link to Bahrain Bird Report where they give a description of the book i bought from Hawar when i had my leave.....
i have nothing to upload now from my own shots coz i spent most of the time enjoying the water and inside the room when i can no longer tolerate the scorching heat of the sun...
i plan to visit Hawar again for other things than jetski and snorkeling.....

2004-06-22T13:42:00.000+03:00

Harold Heindell Tejada

lordstein.net

2004-06-22T08:33:00.000+03:00

got two domains yesterday thru pareng Tim..
lordstein.net and babaero.net
we intend to use it for the vhost and dns services but dont know when the b0x will be up....

just tested today the redirect of http://www.lordstein.net and it goes right thru here....

hope to be able to run the b0x soon.....

Gmail

2004-06-17T09:27:00.000+03:00

http://gmail4u.blogspot.com/2004/06/so-you-say-you-want-gmail-invite.html

"If I offered you an invite right now, would you be willing to beta test, send suggestions,

etc.? Would you then be willing to post to whom you sent your invite and ask that person to

do the same so that this blog would consist entirely of posts from the givers & receivers of

invites?

If anyone is willing to partake in my Gmail link idea, please reply and you'll get an

invite. "

:

If you could only spare me 1 gmail account invite, i'd be most willing to beta test, send

suggestions and or comments for the greater improvement of this new exciting offer of

google... i'd be willing to post to whom i've sent my invite and ask that person to do the

same so that this great idea would create a Gmail chain link for the realization of our

visions and google's mission.... thank you very much :)

Harold Heindell Tejada
sysadmin@onetech.org